


Who Wants To Join A Boxing Class W/ Us

by Ididntsignupforthisshit (myhamartia)



Series: ________ has joined the chat [4]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Fights, Jared punched this asshole in the mall, M/M, Mentioned violence, NO domestic violence, Panic Attacks, Secret Relationship, Shit can't let ppl think that!, Texting, Trips to the ER, and Alana being the true mvp, and they thought he broke his hand hence the ER, i just read the tags an i was like, like 'trouble in paradise' shit, neither of the boys get hit, oh and, text fic, vaguely mentioned but never gone In Depth into it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 08:59:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10918587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myhamartia/pseuds/Ididntsignupforthisshit
Summary: Acorn: But of course not like /I/ can SEE it, obviously! Not like we’ve HAD sex or something! But it’s like I get the idea of it, and how it all works - and I think I could see Jared having sex with someone..Acorn: NotAcorn: Not that I think about it, though.





	Who Wants To Join A Boxing Class W/ Us

**Author's Note:**

> Evan - Acorn  
> Connor - DefinitelyHigh  
> Jared - SincerelyMeme  
> Alana - Bee  
> This comes after The One Where Evan Comes Out by a couple of weeks

**SincerelyMeme created** **_boxing class_ ** **chat**

**SincerelyMeme added:** **_Acorn, Bee_ ** **and** **_DefinitelyHigh_ **

 

SincerelyMeme: im signing evan and i up for boxing class who else wants to join

Bee: Why would you need boxing lessons?

Acorn: We think Jared broke his hand when he punched someone earlier, so now he wants to become a boxer and learn how to throw a real punch

SincerelyMeme: That Punch Was Real Bab

SincerelyMeme: Fucking Real

SincerelyMeme: My Bruised Ass Knuckles Can Attest To That

Acorn: Okay, I take it back

Acorn: But Jared, I’m telling you, I’m not taking boxing lessons. I don’t hit people.

SincerelyMeme: ok i get you

SincerelyMeme: bt im just pointing this out there: if someone’s a grade A dick to you you have free reign to sock tht douchecanoe in the fucking nose/mouth/dick

DefinitelyHigh: wait why exactly did you punch someone earlier kleinman

DefinitelyHigh: was someone dicking with evan?

Acorn: I was fine!

DefinitelyHigh: that wasnt what i asked

SincerelyMeme: we were grabbing a bite to eat in the mall right

SincerelyMeme: and the lines p long so i tell ev that im gonna go to the lil mens room and ill brb right

SincerelyMeme: well the food court gods picked a shitty day to start “smiling” down on the mortals bc soon evans at the front of the line

Acorn: And I don’t know what to order, so I start looking at the choices

Acorn: And then I couldn't see the end of the menu because a stack of cups was in the way, so I didn’t know all of my options.

Acorn: So the cashier’s started to get annoyed, and I started panicking! And I started stuttering really badly, and I knew that I was going to start crying, and that made me panic even more. I mean, what kind of freak cried because of ordering food?

DefinitelyHigh: a person with an anxiety disorder that was left in the food line @SincerelyMeme [eyes emoji] [angry emoji]

SincerelyMeme: thE LINE WAS LONG AT FIRST

SincerelyMeme: AND OK

SincerelyMeme: this dickhead behind evan starts making fun of him for it so when i came back from the bathroom i see that and i see the guy shove a mid-panic attack evan out of line

SincerelyMeme: so i punched the guys nose

SincerelyMeme: he bled it was great

Acorn: HE BLED AND JARED TOOK MY HAND AND RAN US INTO A NEARBY FURNITURE STORE TO HELP CALM ME DOWN

Bee: Oh my God

Bee: Are you both okay???

SincerelyMeme: im Fine

Acorn: We are literally in the emergency room, getting his Broken Hand checked out

SincerelyMeme: aint no sweat as long as ur ok bb

DefinitelyHigh: ???????

Acorn: I - I think he’s hyped up on all the ibuprofen we bought.

DefinitelyHigh: uh huh

DefinitelyHigh: yeah he totally Sounds high to me

DefinitelyHigh: how r u evn typing

SincerelyMeme: I Have Two Hands Connor

Bee: Okay, okay, That’s enough.

Bee: Jared, while that was an incredibly bad choice, you did a very good, brave thing.

Bee: And thank you for protecting Evan. You’re a good friend

SincerelyMeme: Yeah. A great friend.

SincerelyMeme: i was just doing what any of us would do. jus t a dude being a bro

SincerelyMeme: after all im the only one who can pcik on ev

Bee: Well, I think you did a good thing

DefinitelyHigh: yeah me too

SincerelyMeme: Holy Shit

SincerelyMeme: Holy Fucking Shit

SincerelyMeme: Connor Murphy complimented me? Someone pinch me!

DefinitelyHigh: oh fuck you

SincerelyMeme: you wish [winking emoji]

DefinitelyHigh: gross. I cant even imagine anyone wanting to fuck you kleinman

Acorn: Doctor called him in, he shut his phone off for a minute

DefinitelyHigh: i bet he just couldnt think of anything to say [smirking emoji]

Acorn: He told me to say “I thought you would be able to imagine your own mom, Murphy.”

DefinitelyHigh: [eyeroll emoji]

DefinitelyHigh: whatever. I still stand by that

Acorn: I mean - I can?

DefinitelyHigh: reaLLY?????

DefinitelyHigh: How

Acorn: Never mind - I really shouldn’t have said.

DefinitelyHigh: no no im curious now

Acorn: Well, I dunno

Acorn: We’ve been friends for a really, really long time

Acorn: And we’ve talked about that kind of thing before, you know? So I guess I can just see it?

Acorn: But of course not like /I/ can SEE it, obviously! Not like we’ve HAD sex or something! But it’s like I get the idea of it, and how it all works - and I think I could see Jared having sex with someone..

Acorn: Not

Acorn: Not that I think about it, though.

DefinitelyHigh: jesus christ hansen that was the gayest fucking thing ive ever read

DefinitelyHigh: are you sure you arent secretly fucking kleinman?

DefinitelyHigh: evan?

DefinitelyHigh: it’s been like 9 minutes

 

**Acorn added SincerelyMeme to a private message**

Acorn: iscrewedup1.jpg

Acorn: iscrewedup2.jpg

Acorn: JARED I screwed up.

SincerelyMeme: omfg

Acorn: Jared What Do I Do

SincerelyMeme: idk uh

SincerelyMeme: tell him?

Acorn: I’m being serious.

SincerelyMeme: so am i

Acorn: …

Acorn: I don’t know, Jared.

SincerelyMeme: why dont you want them to know, evan?

Acorn: I

Acorn: Jared that’s not how it is.

SincerelyMeme: Alright. Fine.

Acorn: Then what do I tell them?

SincerelyMeme: Bullshit something. I don’t care.

SincerelyMeme: The doctor’s back, I have to go.

Acorn: Oh. Um.

Acorn: See, I know you’re upset because you literally only use that kind of grammar when you’re upset. And I’m sorry. I just don’t know if I’m ready, yet? Like, I’m worried that it’ll change things in bad ways, and what if it turns out really bad? What happens if we fight? Because all couples fight, it happens. U know we fight too,but, like if our friends knwo then theyll have to pick sides and i dont want them to have to do that oh my god theyd hate us for that and i dont know if i could hand le that jared

Acorn: oh my god

Acorn: in 7 hold 14

Acorn: um

Acorn: i feel like i cant breathe

Acorn: I

Acorn: I have to go talk to Alana.

**Acorn has deleted the private message**

 

**Acorn added Bee to a private message**

Acorn: Alana I’m in the ER with Jared

Bee: I know, I saw that chats. Is he okay?

Acorn: I dont know he’s in the office right now

Acorn: that’s not why im pming you

Bee: Are you okay? You dont usually type like this

Acorn: im just typing really fast

Acorn: im in the bathroom and i cant

Acorn: i cant fucking breathe

Acorn: i dont have my meds theyre in my bag in jareds car and he has the keys i cant get them i need held alana i cant breathe

Bee: Okay Evan, can I call you?

Acorn: yeah

 

**Chat -** **_boxing class_ **

Bee: @DefinitelyHigh Evan had a panic attack in the ER, that’s why he didn’t reply

Bee: I am talking him down as I’m driving over there

DefinitelyHigh: Shit

DefinitelyHigh: you’re driving while on the phone??

Bee: Bluetooth and speech-to-text. Don’t worry, I’m being safe

DefinitelyHigh: okay

DefinitelyHigh: do i need to head over there? how can i help

Bee: Right now, you can’t

Bee: Just let me help him, I’ll try my best

_ 06:42PM _

SincerelyMeme: turns out my hand wasn’t broken just bruised

SincerelyMeme: a lot

SincerelyMeme: it fucking hurts, but now i have a prescription for pain meds

SincerelyMeme: why is it so quiet in here

SincerelyMeme: @Acorn @Bee @DefinitelyHigh where are you guys

DefinitelyHigh: I’m at home - They’re at Alana’s.

SincerelyMeme: they?

DefinitelyHigh: yeah

DefinitelyHigh: alana

DefinitelyHigh: and evan

SincerelyMeme: ??? Evan’s in the waiting room ???

DefinitelyHigh: he was but alana went and picked him up after he had a panic attack

SincerelyMeme: Wait

SincerelyMeme: oh fucking hell

SincerelyMeme: ill brb

 

**Incoming call: Jared Kleinman**

**Missed call - 1**

**Incoming call: Jared Kleinman**

**Missed call - 2**

 

**Jared.Kleinman added AlanaBee to a private message**

 

SincerelyMeme: Is Evan okay??!??!?!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!

SincerelyMeme: i just heard from fucking connor that evan had a panic attack while i was in the office

SincerelyMeme: is he ok please tell me he’s alright he’s not answering any of my texts or calls

Bee: He is fine.

Bee: But shook up

SincerelyMeme: i um

SincerelyMeme: can you tell him to call me? or text?

Bee: He told me everything, Jared

SincerelyMeme: Oh

Bee: Yeah.

Bee: You shouldn’t try to force him into something he’s not ready for - even if it’s telling the others that you two are together.

SincerelyMeme: IM NOT FORCING HIM!

Bee: And yet he has a panic attack because you’re upset about the whole thing and want to tell the others?

SincerelyMeme: oh my god

Bee: I’ll tell him you’re concerned, and that you want him to call you back.

Bee: But he said he wants to stay over at mine tonight. We’ve already informed Mrs. Hansen about it. We’ll see how he feels tomorrow.

SincerelyMeme: alana

Bee: Yes?

SincerelyMeme: tell him i’m sorry?

Bee: I will

Bee: Though, if you could drop his backpack off at my house, he would be very appreciative.

SincerelyMeme: Yeah, alright

SincerelyMeme: ill be by as soon as i get my prescription filled

**Author's Note:**

> =D
> 
> I'll be back with the end to this conflict a lil later!!
> 
> Please leave me a comment and tell me your thoughts!  
>   
> [Oh! And you can check me out on tumblr!](http://peanutbutterandbitter.tumblr.com/)  
> Come talk to me abt these dorks! Or Kleinsen. Eh, same difference


End file.
